MRod says: Is the crew ready? Like spaghetti.

At my second job today, I was hanging out with my coworkers when this dude walks in looking indentical to the main actor from “My Name is Earl.”  He wasn’t, but turns out–thanks to the confirmation of my music fanatic coworker, he was actually the drummer from the Killers.  So yea.  Go Killers drummer dude.

Amused by the “-1″ floor.

Some more sightseeing around the area.

Ate lunch by the water; A delicious meal of burgers, nachos and fries with Coke.

We then got our culture on by checking out some famous fort.

Goldilocks, let down your long hair!

Woa.

These medieval knights were shocked to see an Asian dude on their shores.

Charge!!

The bikers in the back were probably thinking, “Obnoxious Americanos!”

Jumping makes any cultural sightseeing more fun.

It happens occasionally.

Like when I visit forts…forts of loveeee.

Some hip area of Lisbon.

Rory demonstrating his favorite scene from the Karate Kid. Right after this photo was taken, he slipped and that pole went right up his ass.

After walking around a bit, we mellowed out at some really hip local outside cafe that *I* found. Credit due and taken.

Cafe action.

Ooooh, artsy.

The lower level of the outside cafe.

Seven hours later, after dinner (with copious amounts of bottles of wine), we went pubbing.

R doing what he does best when drunk–annoying people.

Day 1, Part 2

So once we finally checked into our hotel rooms…five hours after we had first arrived there…everyone took a nap for a couple hours. And then me and my hotel roommate got up to explore the area some more.

People make fun of how Asians slaughter the English language–you can see examples of this at websites like Engrish. But Asians aren’t the only ones. We were extremely puzzled at the meaning of this graffiti. It made about as much sense as the t-shirt I’m wearing in the photo.

Some heavily tagged underground passage. A couple people on the trip commented that the tagging and graffiti in Portugal wasn’t very good…but to be honest, I don’t think most of the tags I see around NYC is “good” either. Even by NYC standards though, we were all pretty surprised at the amount of graffiti up around Lisbon.

Waves crashing against the seawall. Pretty.

I thought this fisherman had caught something and he noticed me taking a photo. He shook his head in the universal sign of “no.” He had caught something, but instead of fish, he hooked himself some random sea trash.

I met up with the rest of the fellas at the casino! Supposedly this place was Europe’s largest casino, so I was definitely very intrigued at seeing the goodness that awaited inside. Note the very pretty park leading to the casino–in the U.S., that’d be a big parking lot. If there’s anything I learned from my previous relationship, then that is, I learned I loved to gamble at casinos. Visiting this place was at the top of my list and I got a couple others stoked to check it out as well. The casino inside was really small–compared to the few I’ve been to in the U.S. Also, there were no craps tables which is what most of us played.

These two guys really did well at the casino. One of them had never gambled before–and walked away with an additional 150 Euros in his pocket while the other one converted his 70 Euros into 500 Euros–all at roulette. Needless to say, the casino rookie, previously skeptical, is now hooked. Myself? I tried blackjack for the first time and ended up doubling up my money in 15 minutes. Not too shabby either. Needles to say, this craps veteran and blackjack rookie, is now hooked on blackjack. Most of us all ended up winners and enjoyed a celebratory drink or two or three or more at the casino bar. We also got the “in” on the hot club to go to that night from one of the cocktail waitresses.

Craig shows the love back at the hotel.

It’s really bizarre, but at every restaurant we went to, at some point a waiter would walk through the place and try to sell roses to the customers. The guy above who won 500 plus Euros at the casino decided to be the big winner by buying roses for all the ladies in the restaurant–and apparently a couple guys as well.

After dinner, we all headed over to a pub with all the Brits, natch. A few of the Brits decided to get into an arm wrestling match, which led to…

…a freakin’ arm wrestling tournament. UK vs. USA.

Alexis doing his best to represent for the US.

And then Alexis and Rory went at it. Their version of talking trash to one another was to talk about how hot the other’s mom was. And in case you’re wondering, yes, I did destroy ALL the dudes in the photos above–with my left arm.

Okay. This photo was probably snapped….about six hours after the arm wrestling extravaganza above. About eleven of us, including the guys above, decided to finally head over to the club…”Coconuts” near the hotel. Along the way, we met some…interesting people. Anyway, once we got to the club, which had no line and honestly, looked rather lame, we got the big brush off from the bouncer. In retrospect, I guess most clubs would have a problem with eleven dudes showing up, but they immediately felt threatened because suddenly more and more bouncers started showing up outside. We were all more calm than they were–and we tried to patiently explain that there were girls from our trip who were already inside and more were coming later, but they didn’t really seem to listen to us. And more bouncers started congregating in front of us and finally one of them came over and started pushing some of us, and that just pissed everyone off. One Brit wanted to bum rush the entrance. The next morning, he saw us and said, “Oy, I realized today that there were probably three bouncers for each one of us…maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to attack them. Thanks mates. Cheers.” And then he went and had himself some fish and chips. So after we all finally drunkenly left the club, while yelling insults at the club, we then tried to go into another lounge–but none of us wanted to pay the cover there. So we made our way to the next bar, which was a pub, but they were closing down for the night. Finally, me and Alexis made our way back to the previous lounge and had a few drinks. More people ended up there, but after awhile, I was bored and walked back to the hotel where I proceeded to wake people up on my floor, including Pam–which as you see in the photo above, is a bit sleepy.

I also got Hector up. “Come on Hector! You gotta RALLY!” Which he did. And then we all went and chilled out in some Brit’s room.

Rory appeared out of nowhere and joined our impromptu party as well. He later had no recollection of this photo being taken or where he was at the time.

And that concludes the first day of a long day of a short trip.

So I’m back after a crazy and frenetic 48 hours in Portugal this weekend. I hardly slept–a few hours on Friday and Saturday night was about it.

But first, one bit of exciting news: Since I finally purchased a mattress, my Internet access in my apartment has improved slightly. It’s amazing what a bit of elevation, thanks to the mattress and box spring, can do for increasing the signal strength of my anonymous neighbor’s generous non-password blocked (the new cockblock?) openness with his or her wireless network. So now I consistently get…prepare to be blown away…one to two bars of WiFi. You know what this means? Less time spent with old unread books from school and more random peregrinations through the Internet Wild Wild West–and back to my obsessive reading of Salon, Slate and others.

Speaking of Slate, I thoroughly enjoyed their entirely unnecessary hammering of the actor Zach Braff: the guy who really proves that it’s not always about looks with the ladies (Being a star of a major network sitcom and writing and directing a hit movie helps generally). You can’t get more blunt than their title for the article, “Why I Hate Zach Braffs.”

I’m moderately neutral with a side of benefit of doubt with Zach. I always thought he was hilarious on Scrubs when it first started airing and thought him to be that likeable actor who seemed like your best mate. And then I saw an appearance on Conan and thought, “Wow. He really sounds like a pompous jackass.”

Anyway, the article linked to a YouTube posted creation (see below) that remixes a scene from Braff’s film (in every sense of the word) Garden State. And I found it goddamn hilarrrious. Aside from how the Slate author uses that YouTube link to prove a certain point, the video is interesting to me because it embodies my humor and interests exactly: feigned intellectual “indie-ness” mixed well with the vulgar, uncouth and mildly retarded.

Anyway, back to my new mattress: I actually did NOT purchase it off Craigslist. I figure at this point in my life I don’t need to be using someone else’s well-worn, used mattress. Although after factoring in how the hell I would ship some whore’s (male or female) mattress from their apartment to mine, I was approaching the price of a new mattress anyway….so….I’ll gladly pay an extra 100 bucks for a bed where I know how every broken spring in it occurred–probably after I accidentally drop a heavy bowling ball on it. Hah. I said ball.

Anyway, here’s a censored PG recap of my trip this past weekend to Portugal with lots of pictures–and entirely way too many artsy fartsy photos.

Day 1

Hectorious taking a little nap on the shuttle ride to Newark–My first Newark airport experience.

Mmmm, beautiful New Jersey.

At the airport bar: Rory demonstrating his friend’s coke jaw.

Rory is STOKED and AMPED to go to Portugal!

Twenty minutes later.

At approximately 4:30 am, this was served to us for breakfast. When I first saw the flight attendants preparing food, I got excited for some egg and cheese sandwich action (I have a sadomasochistic relationship with airplane food). Instead I got some cold bread with a slice of cheese and a thin piece of turkey slice slapped in between…and a milky way bar. I had one bite of the sandwich and put it away. The milky way bar on the other hand was absolutely delectable!

NOT happy about the Portuguese airplane food.

Jumping for joy at getting out of that damn airplane and getting to our beach front hotel.

We arrived at the hotel at 7 am–perfect for a romantic walk to see the sunrise…the Portuguese sunrise.

A boat…a Portuguese boat.

These fellas look like they are about to rob a casino or some shit. We all dumped our bags at the hotel, since check in wouldn’t be for another four hours, and decided explore the area.

We found a cafe with signs suggesting that they sell egg sandwiches, which we were all craving. “Egg?” “No” replied the cafe clerk. So we all just drank coffee and tea instead.

Alexis enjoying his motorcycle, maybe a little too much.

A window…a Portuguese window.

With a few more hours to kill, we decided to walk along the boardwalk, where I took me some pretty pictures.

More beach action.

Group picture.

Tony is chilly in the morning. Note the big building advertising in the background–it’s advertising Europe’s largest casino supposedly. Foreshadowing…

Not quite sure what those colorful thingys were.

I feel like this should be the backdrop to those posters you can buy with inspirational messages written on them.

Man enjoying the morning air…a Portuguese man.

A shot from the Truman Show.

I can’t believe I had this much energy so early in the morning after a long flight.

Looking for clams. Heh heh heh.

Okay, that’s it for now. We eventually walked back to the hotel, checked in and took a nap.

Part 2 of Day 1 to come.

Nothing too terribly exciting to report from my weekend.  I’ve been fighting a cold–bad cough–that I picked up from running around and dodging celebrities during Fashion Week.  I started my weekend job this past Saturday and Sunday at the retail in Soho for extra cash.  It’s actually pretty great with decent hours that let me sleep for an extra hour or two and the store closes early enough that I can get my party-on if I choose.  I can’t sleep in until 2 pm anymore, but that’s all right.  The extra cash makes it worthwhile (and I really shouldn’t be lounging around in bed past 11 on a Sunday, right?).  Speaking of cash, I actually found out that the pay is a lot more than I was expecting–it’s no finance money, but it’ll pay for groceries and the occasional t-shirt.  Oh, and I also earned a nice chunk of beer money, thanks to the commission.

As my friend from high school, Sam pointed out–the things we gots to do to pay rent in NYC.

My coworkers are all chilled out and groovy; after work on Saturday, we went to a hip hotel nearby for a couple drinks.  There, we spied Stifler from American Pie walk by.  The next morning, as I stood waiting outside for the manager to arrive to open the store, the door bouncer and I saw Stifler again.  He stood outside with his luggage waiting for his car to arrive.

The other exciting news is that my mattress is suppose to arrive tomorrow!!  Shweet, eh?  Now the girls can stop complaining about the set up I have right now (who knew three pillows could be so comfortable?).

Due to my busy work life–and lack of net connectivity–I was SHOCKED to walk into the Apple Store on Sunday to see that NEW iPods had arrived.  This was an unprecedented moment in my life.  I’ve generally always been one of the first to know about these sort of things.  The new shuffle is very appealing to me.

I’m headed out to Lisbon, Portugal this Thursday afternoon.  I’m stoked and fighting my cough like hell–I’m trying to drown it in OJ.

Things to do before I leave:

- Laundry

- Pay my ticket to the NYPD (bastards)

- Double and triple check my passport

Later kids–I have to go home to feed my roommate’s naughty puppy.

I’m sorry ya’ll that I don’t have some vomit inducing link or an uber-dorky bit of techie news to share with you here as of late–the extent that I web surf lately is a quick glance at the front page of NYTimes.com and its “Most E-Mailed List” (Your mom is up there by the way).

I’m going to make a TERRIBLE analogy here (and I’ll likely burn in hell for saying it), but like the firefighters of 9/11, I was putting out fires all day at work.

Tonight I worked at another Fashion Week event–and this one featured some heavy celebrity hitters. Winonna Ryder walked right past me–and then again when she left (all under mild bodyguard and publicist cover). And for the first time, I actually saw what a clusterfuck the whole paparazzi culture is and how blinding it must be for celebrities as the fotogs shove their cameras with huge bulbs right in their faces. I was a couple feet away from all the pops of the cameras, but even my eyes were seeing spots for a bit after she walked by. And some of the fotogs are downright rude–Calling her “shoplifter.” “….cast the first stone.”

I also saw Lil’ Kim walk out after the show; again I was only a few feet away from these sightings. Basically, Lil’ Kim is a midget. To understand the difference between a midget and a dwarf, I suggest you watch the BBC Office. It’s explained in one of the episodes incredibly succintely.

And then I saw Mischa Barton–the true Queen B? (Aw hell no, says Lil Kim)–and Mischa definitely edged out Lil’ Kim for the most explosive paparazzi reaction. But this one fotog I was standing next to was cussing out everyone, “They’re going nuts for this slutbag? Fuck!” Apparently, some unnamed celebrity used Mischa’s exit to make their own quieter departure (rumor was that it was Sharapova) and this was the celebrity that this cussing papo was trying to get a photo of.

No, I didn’t take photos.

Anyway.

I love my work–it’s not sexy, despite what it may appear reading above, and while I recognize every job involves its share of cleaning up shit, I would have to say that currently, at my job and field, I have never enjoyed cleaning up shit more than now.  I definitely feel like I’m kicking ass and taking names here.

Also, I just got offered a job to work part-time at a new hip clothing store in Soho so I’ll be working there on weekends–Gotta make the dough, ya know (Hey, that rhymed!).

These photos were from last weekend (I think).

Kickin’ it with my boys (and the guys I would call if I ever broke my arm without having health insurance).

Winer takes the Blue Steele to an X-TREME level.

Kenny showing off “his” baller TV. Uh, his roommate’s TV rather.

Judy working a glue gun like it’s never been worked befo!

Me and Cy.

Censored.

Censored.

Censored (but note Cy proudly rocking his Smirnoff Ice).

Friends of friends.

Lionel aka the Birthday Boy getting his mask dance on.

Cake!

So my new permanent apartment is fantastic minuses a few annoyances–the biggest being the lack of internet.  We’re surrounded by roughly 5 WiFi networks, but unfortunately they are all password protected, minus one and that single one only provides me with one bar of service at most, if at all.  My roommate and I are too poor and cheap to pay for our service at this point.  We’re just hoping a new tenant moves in next to us and sets up a wifi connection that we can leach off of.

Blogging from work is a big no-no (and frankly, I’m too busy to do so anyway), so that combined with my limited internet access at home explains the paucity of updates on this wordpress blog o’ mine.

I managed an event at Fashion Week last night–access badge and the whole bit.  I was crazy busy (”legit work” as a friend put it), but I REALLY enjoyed it and I’m excited at what this means for my future employment.  I finished working around 10 and then met up with a few friends.  I had fun, but was too exhausted from a long day of work and literally running around at Bryant Park to wild out too much.  I still didn’t get home until 4 am.

I’m aware that my frequency of blogging–or rather, lack thereof, has been disappointing to some of you.  A few have expressed their displeasure quite vocally.  My primary excuse is that after a long day of work, I lack either the time or the energy for my previous average of 5 new entries a day–That’s not to say I’m not thinking about ya’ll.  I got much love for my readers.

As a peace offering, I present this video clip of a Japanese game show featuring contestants who have to say a tongue twister.  If they fuck up…well, they get smacked in the nuts.