The Times recently posted a set of 101 simple recipes that can be prepared and ready to devour in 10 minutes or less. Anyone that is somewhat familiar with me quickly learn that in a kitchen an armless person or even a rat is more able than I am. With this caveat in mind, I glanced at the article hoping to find an equivalent of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or Ramen recipe. Instead, I found myself reminded of why I can’t cook. Apparently the Times’ definition of “simple” is different than mine.
1 Make six-minute eggs: simmer gently, run under cold water until cool, then peel. Serve over steamed asparagus. Simmer what gently? The eggs? How the hell do you do that? And when do you know “steamed asparagus” is done?
2 Toss a cup of chopped mixed herbs with a few tablespoons of olive oil in a hot pan. Serve over angel-hair pasta, diluting the sauce if necessary with pasta cooking water. How the hell do you “dilute” sauce? And what sort of mixed herbs?–Can I just buy “mixed herbs” at the grocery store?
3 Cut eight sea scallops into four horizontal slices each. Arrange on plates. Sprinkle with lime juice, salt and crushed chilies; serve after five minutes. How do you cook sea scallops? And to crush chilies, does this mean I just cut them up finely?
4 Open a can of white beans and combine with olive oil, salt, small or chopped shrimp, minced garlic and thyme leaves in a pan. Cook, stirring, until the shrimp are done; garnish with more olive oil. How much olive oil, etc do I use? How do I know when the shrimp is done?
4 responses so far ↓
Recipes » Recipes July 24, 2007 10:48 am // July 24, 2007 at 9:52 am |
[...] 101 SIMPLE RECIPES NOT SIMPLE ENOUGH The Times recently posted a set of 101 simple recipes that can be prepared and ready to devour in 10 minutes or less. Anyone that is somewhat familiar with me quickly learn that in a kitchen an armless person or even a rat is more able … [...]
The Mad Penguin // July 24, 2007 at 10:50 pm |
Hahaha, too funny!
1. Simmer egg is reckon is boiled egg in this context since it says “peel”. Steamed asparagus is done when it is soft enough to pierce with a fork. Not very soft though, firm but soft. Uh, if that make sense.
2. Dilute the sauce from the instructions: “with pasta cooking water”. That sentence is misleading, that’s why you didn’t get it I think. Anyway, diluting sauce is just adding water to make it more runny. There are ‘mixed herbs’ available at grocery stores. Look around the curry powder area.
3. I have no idea how to cook sea scallops, I’m not well-versed in cooking sea food. But crushed chilli is not cutting them up finely, though doing that is alright too. But the reason why you crush the chillies is to get their juice and spiciness into the dish, which cutting finely don’t do so well. If you have a garlic crusher, you can crush roughly chopped chilli with that. Otherwise, crush it with whatever that will do the job. Mallet, bang a glass on it, your fist…you get the idea. =P
4. Whenever oil is mentioned in a recipe and it doesn’t tell you the amount, it’s up to your taste as to how much you need. Can’t give you an insight on the shrimp though! I avoid shrimps like plague and I don’t cook them.
I don’t know if you were serious in trying those, or you were just posting it but hope that helps if you ever consider trying them out! ;)
(And this is the part where I go “Men!” Hahaha!)
mrod // July 24, 2007 at 11:24 pm |
@Mad Penguin: I’m totally serious!! Thanks for all the clarification!! I will give these a try soon.
maya // July 25, 2007 at 12:14 pm |
the mad penguin got almost all of it – as for the rest: i think in the sea scallop preparation bittman describes in #3, the sea scallops aren’t going to be technically “cooked” at all, but rather just cured in the lime juice… kind of like ceviche? and as for the shrimp in #4, shrimp are done when they change in color from blue to pink, and when the flesh becomes more opaque (aka, when they look like shrimp you’d normally eat).