MRod says: Is the crew ready? Like spaghetti.

Boy Meets Blog is temporarily suffering and trying to recover from a strep throat and fever.

Boy Meets Blog has recently learned that NFL Giants quarterback Eli Manning has recently acquired an undetermined sexually transmitted disease or “STD” on his throwing hand.  This alleged infection originally occurred at, unnamed sources claim, a pajama party.  Privacy laws shield and protect the name of the individual who may allegedly and quite possibly infected New York golden boy Eli Manning, who figured to play a crucial role in this Sunday’s Super Bowl to be held in Arizona.  However the following recent photograph of Eli Manning touching Paris Hilton with his right hand at a pajama party has caused rampant rumors and speculations on this mystery.  Boy Meets Blog has been unable to contact Paris Hilton or her family.

Unsurprisingly the ever stoic Patriots have no comment other than to say that they wish Eli fast recovery and knowing his competitive spirit, hope to see him on the field.  “Eli is a great guy” said Patriots coach Bill Belichick.

Separately, a request was filed by both the Patriots and Giants with the NFL commissioner’s office that the entire Harvard University medical staff as well as the 8th division of the U.S. Army Medical Corps be on standby at the stadium in the event of infection mutation.  The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) will also be closely monitoring Eli’s condition.  It’s unclear how the sun and heat will affect the oozing puss.

The Umbrella Corp. has also volunteered their services as well.

…and after wishing for world peace, and the end of human suffering and violence (he kindly let me sort of combine those two into one since I convinced him he’d have to do one to resolve the other), I then wished to attend this year’s Super Bowl, specifically this Super Bowl package:

Thursday January 31st

Check into your own private 5500 square foot Villa at the five star Sanctuary Camelback Mountain Resort & Spa, featuring 4 four bedrooms, four baths, gourmet kitchen, billiards lounge, stereo system, and a plush living area open onto a deck to enjoy the glorious sunsets and mountain views. Don’t forget the hot tub either.

· Hit the 944 Mag Village/50 Cent/Paris Hilton extravaganza at the Scottsdale Waterfront at Stetson Canal - VIP style of course.

Friday February 1

· Leather and Laces Ball with Carmen Electra, Katherine Bell, and Roselyn Sanchez. Don’t forget about the entertainment by Sugar Ray featuring Mark McGrath, Various DJs, the Girls from Deal or No Deal and Special Performances by Cirque du Soleil. Not too fing shabby.

Saturday February 2

· It’s not all parties and glam. May as well fit in 18 holes while you are in the desert, and the best way to do that is at the NFL Charities Celebrity Golf Classic at the Wigwam Golf Resort and Spa.

Sunday February 3

· Sunday. Game Day. You may as well come correct because you don’t know when you will have this chance again. What do we have on tap? The ultimate package for any football fan. Start off with three hours of hospitality with seasonal & regional food stations, full open bar, live entertainment, multi-screen pre-game broadcast, dedicated security entrance into stadium perimeter and more. As a bonus, the always rockin Earth Wind and Fire will perform for the assembled VIPs. Aww yeah.

· Last but not least - game time. How about a fully catered Luxury Suite for you and 7 of your closest friends on the 40 yard line. Enjoy the game in the ultimate setting while the rest of the common folk is smushed together in their non-luxury box seatings.

These phrases need to be banned from the political vernacular, and any politician heard uttering any of them will automatically forfeit their race and go into immediate time out in Sitka, Alaska.

1. Flip flop. *Unless used in the context of open toe sandals perfect in the warm tropical breeze of the Caymans.

Exhibit A.

2. [Insert scandal]+suffix “gate.” Any derivative of the word Watergate to describe scandals, from sports to politics to what Betty did at the nail salon should be banned. It diminishes the enormity of the actual Watergate scandal. Usage of gate to describe a hinged barrier or door is acceptable however.

Exhibit B.

3. Although, not a phrase, I want to see a ban on the “Clinton thumb” during speeches and debates. Let me explain, although I’m sure Monica Lewinsky has a different understanding of the Clinton thumb than you or I (WOW. What does that even mean??): You know, the one with the thumb placed over the closed fist that politicians like to use to make a point or underscore something. According to the politicians’ focus groups, pointing the finger is inflammatory and accusatory, while waving an open hand around is too Hitler, which isn’t the best association. It conveys trust and firmness. I think it conveys robotic and contrived assholeness. Hey politicians: JFK looked sincere and good doing it. You on the other hand look retahded.

Exhibit A. Your honor, I’d also like to submit this as evidence of John Edwards’ douchebaggery. I kid, Johnny. I like you okay. You’re just no Obama. I can’t quit him.

Citizens, any more phrases, words, or behavior you’d like to add to this list?

The episode of “Friends,” the one where Chandler and Joey trade apartments with Rachel and Monica which I admit is a funny episode, is re-mixed here with the Justice League.  Can I see a show of hands of those unfamiliar with the Justice League?  Hmm, okay, mainly all the girls in the classroom here.

Well, the Justice League is a band of superheroes in the DC comic universe.  They are comprised of the following: Superman (How does his supersperm not kill Lois Lane?), Batman (Unhealthy obsession with bats, not that there’s anything wrong with that), Robin (Gay), Wonder Woman (lamest chick superhero), Flash (Refuses to run for USA in Beijing Olympics because of the air quality, allegedly), and Aquaman (Badass motherfucker), among others.

Damn, it must have taken a lot of time to put this together.

So the Washington Post had an article printed coincidentally on the same day as my birthday about the efforts of a New York City couple’s attempt to find the owner of a digital camera the girlfriend had found in a cab on New Year’s Eve. Using the actual photos on the camera as clues they eventually located the camera’s owner living in Sydney, Australia.

Maybe all ya’ll can help me out and initiate this process in reverse order? What say you? Mine isn’t even nearly as difficult as the international chase in the aforementioned story, considering I live in the same city that I lost it at. I left my digital camera, a Canon SD400 circa 2006ish and it was last seen at Le Souk on Saturday night.

Come on, people! Dammit, we can do this! I know some of you readers are brilliant and resourceful people.

My camera is identical to the one below, albeit dinged up with some scratches. It had about 15 party pictures of last night’s party regulars drinking and smoking hookah.

Someone needs to invent a word for late lunches that occur around 4 pm.  Lunner?   Linner?

Unfortunately my camera got lost/stolen at my small birthday gathering on Saturday night. Too bad because everyone was looking stuntastic on the stylish tip. Lesson learned: Don’t leave your camera out on the table when you go disappear to the dance floor for three hours. Despite its loss, I still had an amazing birthday weekend. Thanks to everyone who made it so terrific, particularly to the Roc Boys aka The Tribe Called Quest, although we greatly missed the presence of founding member Cyrus who couldn’t be with us unfortunately.

The unexpected theme for me on Saturday night is best expressed by this James Bond classic, From Russia with Love, except for the guns, fiery explosions, helicopters, speeding boats, and tuxedo.

Update: Slate asks and answers: “Where did all those gorgeous Russians come from?

T-minus now.  It’s my birthday.

It’s a celebration, bitches.

In order to offset the downturn in our economy, Congress is trying to push through a stimulus package.  They are proposing tax rebates up to $600 for an individual and $1200 for couples.

I’m not sure that this is the best way to stimulate our economy.  Instead, I’d recommend putting on some nice clothes, going out to dinner, followed by drinks at a nice chic lounge, or that speakeasy jazz club, and then going back to the apartment for some “coffee” and more “conversationalizing.”    Yea, I think this would stimulate the economy real good.  Oh yea.