P: Aquaman sucks.
Me: SHUT UP.
P: He’s the weakest superhero ever.
P: He can talk to dolphins and whales. A lot of good that is.
Me: SHUT UP. Best never go near the ocean.
P: Dude, I’m from Michigan. The best Aquaman could do there is round up some killer clams.
P: Help me river trouts!
Me: He’d send killer lobsters!
P: Iron Man would grill them.
Me: Iron Man is a little whiny bitch.
P: At least Namor could fly.
Me: “Ohh, I can’t hold my liquor.” Iron Man is weak sauce.
P: Dude, Aquaman’s hair always looks exactly the same wet and dry.
Me: At least he never had a MULLET.
P: What’s wrong with mullets, Alaska boy?
Me: Just sayin’. Mullet boy, just sayin’.
Me: Hope your boy enjoys AA.
P: Aquaman would freeze in Alaska.
P: If you were in Alaska and needed help, Aquaman wouldn’t make it past Juneau.
Me: Aquaman would send whales to help me.
Me: Iron Man would be drunk in some cabin.
Me: After two beers.
P: This is dumb.
P: Silver Surfer is the best.
Me: YES.
…
P: Emma Frost is the hottest chick in the comic universe.
Me: WHAT? WHAT?
P: That’s one of her super powers. To be mega hot.
Me: Her white hair reminds me of grandmothers.
P: You’re super retarded.
Me: That’s one of MY superpowers.
26 responses so far ↓
krunkymunky // May 1, 2008 at 11:02 am
this P guy sounds like he knows what he’s talkin’ bout.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 11:02 am
P guy sounds like he sits down to pee.
krunkymunky // May 1, 2008 at 11:23 am
aquaman walks around with strands of poo trailing out of his butt.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 11:25 am
Wrong. Because Aquaman is always in the ocean he’s always clean.
krunkymunky // May 1, 2008 at 11:42 am
aquaman’s greatest weakness is air.
Moye // May 1, 2008 at 1:37 pm
what about jubilee? how come no one talks about her? she’s awesome.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Get the fuck outta here Moye. Don’t be bringing that jubilee nonsense.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Weakness to air is irrelevant when 75 percent of the earth surface is ocean. Boooyah.
krunkymunky // May 1, 2008 at 1:58 pm
… except that all of the bad guys are on land or in the air.
what you’re suggesting is like saying ronald reagan was a great president because he really helped out the 75% of americans that were doing at least moderately well in the ’80s … whilst ignoring the minority that he totally screwed.
You don't know squat // May 1, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Batman is the greatest superhero. Ever.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 2:41 pm
OH WOW. Mr. Grappling Hook gets thrown into the mix. Go take Batman and hang out with Jubilee at the kid’s table.
You don't know squat // May 1, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Batman is a tried and tested Superhero. He had a whole asylum of nuts to fend off on a daily.
Aquaman? he was a complimentary player. Ironman? i’ve run out of gas cause oil prices are too high so i gotta leave the suit at home.
Plus batman would give him a dui.
krunkymunky // May 1, 2008 at 2:45 pm
gimme a break. even matter-eater lad could defeat batman.
… and you know batman would enjoy it too.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 2:52 pm
We’re still talking about Batman???
Just because you have money and finished at the top of your class doesn’t quite make you a super hero. If anything Batman is the number one candidate to appear on “To Catch a Predator” what with his predilection for boys to be his “sidekick.”
You don't know squat // May 1, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I’m just kidding here, as I have no ties to comics.
i’ll take the guy from halo to whoop all ass.
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 2:55 pm
OH SNAP! Master Chief!!! Interesting addition. Master Chief is who Iron Man aspires to be, until he sees a 24 hour 7-11 that sells alcohol. Then Iron Man aspires to be the local neighborhood drunk.
You don't know squat // May 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm
the phoenix
mrod // May 1, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Galactus would just eat out the Phoenix.
Paul // May 1, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Aquaman smells like tuna fish. That being said, Emma Frost is a hottie.
krunkymunky // May 1, 2008 at 5:18 pm
i see that all pauls
are wise as to comic books
… must be genetic
Moye // May 1, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Jubilee is HALF-CHINESE. That’s why she’s awesome. Just kidding.
I’m going with Team Master Chief on this one.
cb // May 1, 2008 at 9:35 pm
let’s just bring it back to this. SILVER SURFER is the man.
You don't know squat // May 2, 2008 at 8:45 am
master chief. with a splash of gta
mrod // May 2, 2008 at 8:50 am
No, cb. YOU must choose: Is Aquaman the dope-est superhero or not? Before answering, remember you this: I know where you live.
Yes, that is a threat.
mrod // May 2, 2008 at 8:51 am
Jubilee is hapa? Pretty awesome. Still not as awesome as Aquaman.
Is there a Korean superhero? If anyone says Kimchi Man, I will destroy you.
krunkymunky // May 2, 2008 at 8:31 pm
iron man could just laser the ocean and boil aquaman alive.
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