YouTube’s First Video Ever

This boring and dull clip was the first video uploaded on YouTube. Co-founder Jawed Karim posted it on 8:27 pm on April 23, 2005.

According to his Wikipedia profile, before YouTube, he also designed and implement as chief architect “many of the core components of PayPal, including its real-time anti-fraud system.” And if you’re reading this while pondering your next step in your career, let me add to your depression with this final bit of tidbit: Karim enrolled in grad school (Stanford for computer science) after he founded YouTube. When Google acquired YouTube, he received 137,443 shares of stock, which is worth as of today $74,837,713.

I think staying in on a Saturday night really worked out in the end for him. His mom however isn’t a fan of YouTube: “There are too many crazy things on it. I would wish it was 95 percent science and 5 percent silly stuff, but it’s the opposite.” I think by crazy she means awesome.

Money

Hayato Matsushita. You’re so money.

[Via]

Wardrobe Color Quotient

Esquire’s recommendation on “how much of any given color should appear in your closet in any given time.”

William Stone

William Stone succinctly titled this piece “Black Bucket Seat.” Sounds about right. This purchase will be a tough sell to my accountant and parents.

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries lists slightly different interpretation of famous plots.

• BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
• BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
• DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
• DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
• GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
• GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
• GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
• KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
• LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
• ROCKY: White man beats black man.
• STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
• TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.

Let me try.

UP: Octogenarian kidnaps and flees country with child.

The Salaryman’s body to gradually metamorphose into a walking pile of scrap metal.

I got lost on the Internet and ended up on the corner of Wikipedia and “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” aka the most insane movie plot I’ve ever encountered. The sequel is nuts too.

Relatedly: Here is The Morning News’ list of 16 mindfuck movies, including one that I’ve always wanted to see, “Primer,” which was made on a shoestring budget of only $7,000.

In Vogue Costanza

Sebastian Speier made the following keen observation about George Costanza:

How to Wield a Knife

The Atlantic Monthly on how to properly use knives in the kitchen.

The first element to avoiding your blade is keeping it in your hand. As Fleisher’s Aaron Lenz describes it, you should hold your knife like the butt of a pistol, fingers wrapped tightly around the grip “like someone was trying to take it away from you.” Some people hold a boning knife like a conductor’s baton during a particularly slow part of Pachelbel’s Canon. This is wrong. You will either drop your knife through your fingers, causing you to cut your knife hand with your knife, or, more likely, lose track of it in your brain’s motor control center and cut the hand holding the meat.

[Via]

Scott Ashley

Scott Ashley’s “The Apology.”

Lost Intro x Saul Bass

If Saul Bass (previously) created the intro to hit TV show Lost, it might look something like this.